Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Book Review: Unconditional Parenting (courtesy of goodreads)

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
I am glad I read this book after reading A Nation of Wimps. I was primed for it. The main point I will take away from this book is that it matters more what a child perceives/hears than what is actually said or intended. We should hold back on the criticism and the praise, particularly blanket praise and criticism.

If you are someone who believes children should do as they are told just because they should listen to adults, well this book isn't for you. But if you are open to hearing out your kids, then this book is a great tool to start a long journey towards unconditional love.

The thing I like best about the book is that there are no explicit instructions on how to deal with specific situations/problems. There are general suggestions on where to start/come from when you are dealing with challenges, discipline, etc. But like Dr. Sears and others, this book looks at discipline not as punishment and reward (actually they are seen as the same thing) but as a way to help our children grow into ethical happy people. Discipline isn't something that is done to kids, but something done with kids. Big difference there from all the proponents of "time out". The ideas are backed by real science and data are given as support.

If you are willing to try something totally new or at least keep your mind open to new possibilities, well then give this book a read.
View all my reviews.

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