Wednesday, July 16, 2008

What a girl needs...with a side of guilt

Today, I did two things I rarely do, let alone on the same day. First, I got a haircut. I'm not totally thrilled with it, but the lady did do what I asked. It's short. See photo. The best part of the haircut is always the shampoo. Today it rocked.

The second and most enjoyable rare activity, I went shopping. I planned to meet up with two old friends to do some window shopping, so I went early and shopped my heart out at Ann Taylor. I purchased a conservative, yet fun outfit for my return to the office. It's mostly navy blue, but it is still kind of cool. OK, as cool as Ann Taylor (not Ann Taylor Loft) can be. And then I spent a few hours ogling baby clothes, sipping Starbucks (also a rarity), and caressing Kitchenaid mixers with my girlfriends. It was mega-fun for this mama.

Of course I felt some guilt about spending the money.

Outfit = $80
Starbucks = $5

But you know what, I don't know the last time I bought myself some clothes at a nice store. Really, the last thing I remember buying was the dress I'm wearing. That was at Kohl's in May and it was $14. I don't even really like this dress, but it fit and it was cheap. Yes, that's how I shop most of the time. But yesterday I was practical, stylish, and indulgent, all in the same purchase. I had limited myself to $100 for a new outfit suitable for work. So in a way I save $20, which I really wanted to spend on shoes, but resisted.

I wouldn't have felt guilty about spending that money if I was earning a paycheck. But life as a no-pay mama, has left me feeling guilty about spending money on lots of things. Sometimes I get resentful of the guilt and just spend some money. Usually it is something totally practical or needed, but on a rare occasion its new shoes or a toy for the boy. I can't wait until I have a paycheck of my own and can have a little money all my own to do with what I will. That's the one thing I really miss about employment. And to be honest, I don't get flack from my partner about spending money, except for the time I left the bank account with too little money and bounced the mortgage payment. That wasn't pretty.

Am I the only one who feels guilty about spending money?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.