Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy F*&^king Mother's Day

I just finished reading this great post over at the Ms. Blog by Natalie Wilson and it has got me thinking.  The more I live my life as a mother the more I realize that mothers get screwed (and not in the MILF kind of way).  We are expected to do everything for our families, our partners, our households, and still be sexy, vibrant, put-together women.  We are expected to keep quiet about the poor work conditions and inadequate pay we receive, no matter where we work, including our own homes.  We earn less than our female (child-free) and male (doesn't matter if they have kids or not) peers.  We are more likely to live in poverty.  We don't get sick days. 
 
Mothers get a lot of lip service in America.  'It's the greatest, hardest, most important job in the world.'  But they won't pay us for it.  No paid maternity leave.  No universal subsidized child care. No social security credit for years out of the workforce taking care of our families.  It's the greatest hardest most important job that no rational person would choose based on the salary and benefits package.  No glory.  No thanks.  No "atta-girl".  Well, except on this one day. 

Today is Mother's Day and we get flowers, breakfast in bed, dinner made for us, gifts and handmade cards.  We get hugs and kisses.  We get a few thank you's.  Does it make it up for all those other days of thankless work and lousy pay?  No, not in the long term.  But in the short term, yes.

I don't expect a thank you everyday for doing what I choose to do.  But I would like some more appreciation and respect from society.  I AM doing a very important and difficult job.  I am raising the next generation of tax payers, builders, thinkers, and maybe even parents.  I sacrifice a lot for these little people.  I sacrifice my own financial security in order to provide them with the things money cannot buy: unconditional love, encouragement, guidance, and understanding.  So maybe, just maybe, one of these days the U.S. will join the rest of the world and provide paid maternity (and paternity) leave and stop treating our bodies and magical wombs like public property.


And now I'll step down from the soap box and return you to our regular programming...





Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Mama Pay Gap

Bill Singer has a great piece on Huffington Post about the pay gap between working mothers and everybody else.  Mothers make about 25% less than our working peers.  This used to be explained by pointing out that men were the real breadwinners and mothers played a supporting role, but now we all know that's BS.  I don't know a family where the mother's pay doesn't contribute in some way to the running of the family.  Even if Mom's salary just covers daycare or savings or the phone bill, she should be paid equally. 

Our child-free sisters do all right and make as much as the boys.  As soon as we gain the 'mama' moniker our lifetime income goes down, a lot.  Think about it this way, women are not penalized alone, whole families lose income.  It's not sex discrimination but mother discrimination.  No wait! It's discrimination against families!  How's that for American family values?!

And don't forget that about 40% of babies are born to unmarried mothers and a significant, but not a majority, of those moms are doing it all by themselves with no father/partner.  So are we saying that her kids don't deserve a decent life and economic security?!

We have to speak up.  We have to demand equal pay.  We can learn more about the issue .  We can demand our representatives support the Paycheck Fairness Act.  We can talk to other women about their choices and working life.  We need to unite and demand to be treated like the equal, vital, and powerful individuals we are. 

Friday, September 5, 2008

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

What a girl needs...with a side of guilt

Today, I did two things I rarely do, let alone on the same day. First, I got a haircut. I'm not totally thrilled with it, but the lady did do what I asked. It's short. See photo. The best part of the haircut is always the shampoo. Today it rocked.

The second and most enjoyable rare activity, I went shopping. I planned to meet up with two old friends to do some window shopping, so I went early and shopped my heart out at Ann Taylor. I purchased a conservative, yet fun outfit for my return to the office. It's mostly navy blue, but it is still kind of cool. OK, as cool as Ann Taylor (not Ann Taylor Loft) can be. And then I spent a few hours ogling baby clothes, sipping Starbucks (also a rarity), and caressing Kitchenaid mixers with my girlfriends. It was mega-fun for this mama.

Of course I felt some guilt about spending the money.

Haircut=$30
Outfit = $80
Starbucks = $5

But you know what, I don't know the last time I bought myself some clothes at a nice store. Really, the last thing I remember buying was the dress I'm wearing. That was at Kohl's in May and it was $14. I don't even really like this dress, but it fit and it was cheap. Yes, that's how I shop most of the time. But yesterday I was practical, stylish, and indulgent, all in the same purchase. I had limited myself to $100 for a new outfit suitable for work. So in a way I save $20, which I really wanted to spend on shoes, but resisted.

I wouldn't have felt guilty about spending that money if I was earning a paycheck. But life as a no-pay mama, has left me feeling guilty about spending money on lots of things. Sometimes I get resentful of the guilt and just spend some money. Usually it is something totally practical or needed, but on a rare occasion its new shoes or a toy for the boy. I can't wait until I have a paycheck of my own and can have a little money all my own to do with what I will. That's the one thing I really miss about employment. And to be honest, I don't get flack from my partner about spending money, except for the time I left the bank account with too little money and bounced the mortgage payment. That wasn't pretty.

Am I the only one who feels guilty about spending money?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

Friday, June 6, 2008

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

Monday, June 2, 2008

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

Notes:

On teenagers having oral sex: Not a shocker to me. I have known that kids are using their mouths for more than back-talk for a long time now. Maybe its because I worked in a field related to sexual issues, and so I read, talked, heard about teens' activites more than other parent-types. Now, my son isn't even 2 yet, but you bet your sweet bippy that he is going to know everything I (or more likely his dad) can tell him about the joys, risks and problems that sex can bring, and I mean all the kinds of sex. Am I alone in not feeling weird about talking to kids about sex? I don't think you need to be vulgar or share your life history, but being honest about sex seems to be a very important part of raising responsible and healthy kids.



Friday, May 23, 2008

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....


Friday, May 16, 2008

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

Do Working Moms Get a Break?Interview with Jessica Denay of The Hot Mom's Club
Are SAHM's the new "cheap labor"? From Workitmom.com
Veronica at has a great take on Michelle Obama quitting her job
Is feminism an attack of the body? From Jennifer Roback Morse.



Notes:
I think that SAHMs get paid less (or agree to less pay) because they value the experience more than the money. As a mom who's been out of the workforce for almost two years, I savor the time I do get working on small freelance projects from time to time. My hourly rate is actually pretty good, but I would probably do the same work for less, and happily. Keeping skills fresh and networking are invaluable to women wanting to re-enter the full time work-world in the future. And is the only mark of our value our paychecks? If so, then sisters we are in trouble!

I'm reading Amy Richards' new book and so have been thinking about feminism and our female bodies. I agree with Morse that on some level feminism is rejecting the biological realities of our bodies, especially when it comes to fertility and reproduction. If motherhood and reproduction are hindrances and oppressions one should avoid, then where do all our future sisters come from? Isn't there a biological imperative that we reproduce ourselves? And haven't we learned from our dystopian works of art that removing the biology and humanity from reproduction is a bad idea? See Brave New World.

And on to my favorite future First Lady....Michelle Obama will get slack from everyone no matter what she chooses, because she's a strong woman married to the future Leader of the Free World (please, please, let me get what I want this time). Sometimes in life we have to choose to do what's best for our families, for our partners, for ourselves, and it may not fit into the mold as feminist or mother or strong woman or whatever else others want us to be. Rock on Sister Obama, I've got your back.

Monday, May 5, 2008

What Mothers are talking about....

A long list from the last several days...



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