Mothers' issues are feminist issues

I had this post in draft for a few weeks before deciding to clean it up a bit and publish it. I realized that I didn't need to write everything I ever wanted to say about motherhood and feminism, the exclusion of many women from our motherhood and feminism discussions/causes, and all the other related issues. I could just start the conversation. And then when I went to look at #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen to see the latest tweets, I stumbled upon this and my inner voice shouted YES! Although not specifically about motherhood, that open letter identifies (way better than I could) the problem with so many (most) white feminists: failure to check our privilege or even acknowledge it. We have to stop that shit!

Why don't feminists talk more about mothers' issues? Yes, we talk about paid sick leave and family leave, but do we talk about pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding? What about daycare and public education?We sure talk a lot about birth control, sex and abortion. But we really don't talk about all the stuff that happens once we have a baby. Where is the choice debate around birth and feeding? We talk about the choice of working or not (for those who have the luxury of choice). We don't talk much about how our socio-economic status influences our options and choices about how we birth and care for our babies. I think we should.

#solidarityisforwhitewomen pained me, not only in the sharp criticism, but because I realized that so often there's only one conversation in feminism (mainstream, anyway) and it's really about women like me: white, middle-aged, educated, relatively affluent and empowered. If we talk about women of lower socio-economic status or women of color, it is often condescendingly, or in passing.

And when I say "we" I mean my feminist friends, the regular people. I also mean the mainstream feminist organizations and media that often focus on whatever way we are all "leaning" that week or how much we get paid while we lean. Let's be honest, we suck. We are not inclusive of our sisters of color, or our sisters with limited financial resources or social capitol. We basically ignore them. Or silently judge them for not being like us. Or not so silently.

So I say, mothers unite! If we acknowledged our common and shared struggles we could actually get to the real work of feminism -- changing the fucking world for everybody! Not just privileged white ladies or people of a certain class or your kids or their kids -- EVERYBODY!

But how do we go about getting all together? What will be our priority issues? What are the solutions? I have ideas. What are yours?

Moms Rising is one organization that is working on many of the issues that concern mothers: healthy food, health care for all, paid sick leave, fair wages, etc. But as of yet, not focusing on pregnancy, birth and feeding of our babies. But I bet we could change that.

What other organizations do you know working on behalf of ALL mothers? Or are otherwise working to bring the many voices and experiences of mothers and women together for the common good. And to slay the Patriarchy.

Happy F*&^king Mother's Day

I just finished reading this great post over at the Ms. Blog by Natalie Wilson and it has got me thinking.  The more I live my life as a mother the more I realize that mothers get screwed (and not in the MILF kind of way).  We are expected to do everything for our families, our partners, our households, and still be sexy, vibrant, put-together women.  We are expected to keep quiet about the poor work conditions and inadequate pay we receive, no matter where we work, including our own homes.  We earn less than our female (child-free) and male (doesn't matter if they have kids or not) peers.  We are more likely to live in poverty.  We don't get sick days. 
 
Mothers get a lot of lip service in America.  'It's the greatest, hardest, most important job in the world.'  But they won't pay us for it.  No paid maternity leave.  No universal subsidized child care. No social security credit for years out of the workforce taking care of our families.  It's the greatest hardest most important job that no rational person would choose based on the salary and benefits package.  No glory.  No thanks.  No "atta-girl".  Well, except on this one day. 

Today is Mother's Day and we get flowers, breakfast in bed, dinner made for us, gifts and handmade cards.  We get hugs and kisses.  We get a few thank you's.  Does it make it up for all those other days of thankless work and lousy pay?  No, not in the long term.  But in the short term, yes.

I don't expect a thank you everyday for doing what I choose to do.  But I would like some more appreciation and respect from society.  I AM doing a very important and difficult job.  I am raising the next generation of tax payers, builders, thinkers, and maybe even parents.  I sacrifice a lot for these little people.  I sacrifice my own financial security in order to provide them with the things money cannot buy: unconditional love, encouragement, guidance, and understanding.  So maybe, just maybe, one of these days the U.S. will join the rest of the world and provide paid maternity (and paternity) leave and stop treating our bodies and magical wombs like public property.


And now I'll step down from the soap box and return you to our regular programming...

What do we teach our kids about poverty?

Despite how stretched or stressed your financial life, if you are reading this you are pretty damn lucky.  You are not one of the billion plus people (women, children, elders, men) living in extreme poverty.  Extreme poverty doesn't mean that you can't afford your rent, it means you might not have a roof.  Extreme poverty doesn't mean you can't afford your grocery bill, it means you might eat one meal today.  Extreme poverty means your children don't go to school, don't have access to clean drinking water and are malnourished and unhealthy.  Extreme poverty means that you don't have access to health care or medicines, however basic or inexpensive.  Extreme poverty means your children die from diseases that children in other places get vaccinated against or are never exposed to.  Extreme poverty means a hard life and early death.

One billion people.  One-sixth of the whole world.  That's 1,000,000,000 people.  How do we talk to our kids about this difficult subject?

Our 4 ear old goes to a Quaker preschool, so at school they discuss social justice issues and service to one's community, in ways little people can understand.  I talk to my son about how some people don't have clean water to drink or a warm bed to sleep in, and that it is our job as fellow humans to try to help others however we can. And I guess the talking has paid off.  For Halloween, the boy's school sent home little UNICEF collection boxes to take trick-or-treating.  We didn't take the box trick-or-treating because there was just too much going on at the time.  But we planned on putting the change in our cars in the box, , taking it to work, etc.  When our son returned from collecting all his candy, we told him he could trade in candy for cash or prizes.  He chose cash and received $5 for about 3/4 of his candy.  I told him he could put it in his piggy bank or put it in the UNICEF box, he chose the UNICEF box.  He said, "I want kids to have safe water to drink."  I choked back tears.  I am still beaming with pride.

So my lesson is that it is important to talk to our kids about the scary real world, in order to help them cultivate compassion and understanding.  I don't want my white middle class American boys to think that everyone lives like them and has the same privilege.  The vast majority of humanity does not.  Four isn't too young to understand this.  It's the perfect age to start a life of compassion and service.

Will Ms. Yellow Sweater please stand up?

Here  I am.

Before you think I totally lost my mind, read this Double X piece on pro-life feminists (yellow sweater wearers).


I am a pro-life feminist. Which means to me that I find abortion to be a moral choice and one I am equally adverse to as any other taking of life, including the death penalty, murder, war, etc.  I do not think abortions should be illegal.  I do not think women or doctors should be harmed or penalized if an abortion is performed.  I do think that we should do everything within our power as a society to prevent un-intended pregnancies (unwanted ones) AND offer real support to women and families like low or no-cost child care, paid maternity leave and effective child support enforcement. 

Are there more women out there with their yellow sweaters hidden in their closets?  Do pro-life Democrats, like Senator Bob Casey have a chance in this partisan, hot-button issue, no time for nuanced discussion, time? I would hope so.  I would vote for her.

People who equate feminism with pro-choice miss out on a whole bunch of women.   I am not even sure what pro-choice means.  I am supportive of women being able to make informed choices regarding their reproductive and sexual health, but I don't believe that most women "choosing" to have an abortion really have a choice. They are faced with obstacles like abuse, poverty, social stigma, isolation, and lack of opportunity.  Some women don't have the choice of when and with whom to have sex or if and when to use birth control.  So how much choice is there really?!

All women should be for real reform in how we support and protect women and families.  Abortion is a symptom or effect of many causes.  Feminism is about more than our bodies, and more than ourselves.

The Mama Pay Gap

http://www.pay-equity.org/

Bill Singer has a great piece on Huffington Post about the pay gap between working mothers and everybody else.  Mothers make about 25% less than our working peers.  This used to be explained by pointing out that men were the real breadwinners and mothers played a supporting role, but now we all know that's BS.  I don't know a family where the mother's pay doesn't contribute in some way to the running of the family.  Even if Mom's salary just covers daycare or savings or the phone bill, she should be paid equally. 

Our child-free sisters do all right and make as much as the boys.  As soon as we gain the 'mama' moniker our lifetime income goes down, a lot.  Think about it this way, women are not penalized alone, whole families lose income.  It's not sex discrimination but mother discrimination.  No wait! It's discrimination against families!  How's that for American family values?!

And don't forget that about 40% of babies are born to unmarried mothers and a significant, but not a majority, of those moms are doing it all by themselves with no father/partner.  So are we saying that her kids don't deserve a decent life and economic security?!

We have to speak up.  We have to demand equal pay.  We can learn more about the issue .  We can demand our representatives support the Paycheck Fairness Act.  We can talk to other women about their choices and working life.  We need to unite and demand to be treated like the equal, vital, and powerful individuals we are. 

Contraception as a end to poverty for the world's women? Don't forget education.

Nicholas Kristoff wrote an op ed earlier this week about contraception as a tool to end poverty for many of the world's women and families.  He also wrote a follow up piece on the challenge of building consensus on this issue.

His main point is that women in many parts of the world lack knowledge of and access to effective and safe birth control methods.  Some of the barriers are due to culture and religion.  Children are valued as signs of virility, wealth and health.  Women are expected to produce children for their husbands, at least one every few years.

We have proven that education is its own special kind of contraception.  Where girls and young women are educated, they delay motherhood and have fewer children.  Why is this?  Because they are empowered members of society and the workforce (in many cases).  They do not have to rely on a husband to take care of them, and so can make decisions about when to have children and how many to have.   Children who have educated mothers (often employed mothers) are more likely to go to school and delay their own motherhood.  Poverty and ignorance breed more poverty and ignorance. 

If you keep a girl in school, you help her change the course of her life, that of her future family, and an entire nation....It’s a simple and well-documented fact. A girl who goes to school and stays there is much more likely to postpone marriage and childbirth. Those decisions have a dramatic ripple effect. Later childbirth results in lowering the overall fertility rate, which means higher per capita income and the increased ability of a woman to earn a living for herself and her family. And educated women provide better health care for themselves and their children, meaning lower maternal and infant mortality rates. In fact, a country's investment in education leads to a whole host of results that promote economic and social development. 

- Cokie Roberts (in Save the Children's The State of the World's Mothers 2005)

 
Simply handing out condoms and birth control pills will not change the fate of women and children in this world.  For one thing, men are in control of when and with whom they use condoms.  Many women in the world, from any walk of life or continent, do not have the power to negotiate condoms use with their partners.  Just look at the numbers of women with HIV/AIDS for evidence of this.

From The Body (for women in the U.S.):

Today, women account for more than one quarter of all new HIV/AIDS diagnoses. Women of color are especially affected by HIV infection and AIDS. In 2004 (the most recent year for which data are available), HIV infection was

• the leading cause of death for black women (including African American women) aged 25-34 years.
• the 3rd leading cause of death for black women aged 35-44 years.
• the 4th leading cause of death for black women aged 45-54 years.
• the 4th leading cause of death for Hispanic women aged 35-44 years.

From Avert: 

At the end of 2008 it was estimated that out of the 31.3 million adults worldwide living with HIV and AIDS, around half are women.¹ It is suggested that 98 percent of these women live in developing countries.² The AIDS epidemic has had a unique impact on women, which has been exacerbated by their role within society and their biological vulnerability to HIV infection.
Generally women are at a greater risk of heterosexual transmission of HIV. Biologically women are twice more likely to become infected with HIV through unprotected heterosexual intercourse than men. In many countries women are less likely to be able to negotiate condom use and are more likely to be subjected to non-consensual sex.^3 4

So the issues are more complicated than simply trying to prevent pregnancy for women who either cannot provide for a child or do not desire to have any/more children.  It is about controlling and ending a pandemic that has infected millions.  It is about saving millions of children from a life of poverty and lack of education or opportunity.  It is about decreasing maternal and infant mortality, which is a significant problem in the developing world, due to many factors, including lack of access to prenatal care and properly trained health care providers and necessary resources.  So yes, we need more contraception and family planning in the world, but we also need schools and the political will to make sure the world's girls get the education they deserve.

It's not easy, but it is necessary.

Being green, that is. 

Pampers claims that disposable diapers are better for babies and just as good for the environment as cloth/reusable diapers. So I did a little research and thinking.

I have used all kinds of diapers from bumGenius deluxe all-in-one cloth diapers to Pampers with the superabsorbant gels to Seventh Generation non-bleached disposables to Tushies natural ones.  I have to say that all in all the disposables are good at keeping the wet stuff in, which means if you so choose you can keep the diaper on baby for several hours without worrying too much about leaks.  But I have found that disposable diapers lead to super blow outs so much more than cloth diapers, provided the cloth diapers fit correctly.  I have also had problems with diaper rashes on my son and found frequently changing the cloth diapers helped clear it up faster than when using disposables (maybe an airflow thing).  Sure, doing poopy diaper laundry can be unpleasant, but I have a hard time with the idea of sending thousands of disposables to the trash dump over the course of my child's young life. 

Sure, Pampers claim that disposable superabsorbant diapers are better at reducing the likelihood of diaper rash is founded on real science. But, there are all sorts of chemicals in disposable diapers that have been shown to be harmful, like affecting respiration. Dioxins are produced as a result of the making of the paper pulp for the diapers.  Dioxins are toxic and found in our water sources, harming people and animals.  However, we get most of our exposure to dioxins through our food not through tampons, diapers or other personal care products.  Yuck!

Dioxins are a class of persistent polyhalogenated aromatic hydrocarbons that induce a wide spectrum of toxic responses in experimental animals including reproductive, endocrine, developmental, and immunologic toxicities as well as carcinogenicity....The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has estimated that > 95% of exposures to dioxins are through low-level contamination of the food supply (8). These exposures are caused by bioaccumulation of dioxins in animals and the subsequent consumption of animal products such as beef, pork, poultry, and fish, as well as dairy products (8). The major sources of dioxins in the food chain are combustion mechanisms such as municipal, hazardous, and medical waste incinerators.

     http://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/members/2002/110p23-28devito/devito-full.html

From available research one can conclude that the environmental impacts of using disposables or reusables are about the same- if you don't count the ability to use cloth diapers for more than one child, sometimes several.  Or if we don't count the people who can wash cold, line dry their organic all natural diapers...well then I would argue cloth wins on carbon emissions.  But if you look at the synthetic materials used in many pocket diapers or the conventionally raised cotton used in others...well you get environmental impact from those manufacturing and agricultural methods.  It's enough to drive you to drink. 

But what resonates with me are the resources that go into manufacturing disposables.  According to the Real Diaper Association (granted, a biased organization):

Over 300 pounds of wood, 50 pounds of petroleum feedstocks and 20 pounds of chlorine are used to produce disposable diapers for one baby EACH YEAR.

Lehrburger, C., J. Mullen and C.V. Jones. 1991.  Diapers: Environmental Impacts and Lifecycle Analysis.  Philadelphia, PA: Report to The National Association of Diaper Services (NADS).   

Do we really want to use our petroleum resources to make diapers that just end up in landfills and do not biodegrade for 250-500 years?!

But there is a lot that goes into the decision of what kind of diapers to use.  Cost and convenience are usually the first two considerations.  Some people balk at the initial costs of cloth diapering, but I have to say that I would rather spend $100-500 upfront on whatever kind of cloth diapering system than shell out $50+ a month on disposables for two or more years.  Plus, there are lots of ways to cloth diaper on the cheap.  You can buy used diapers on Ebay (I have).  You can search craigslist or one of the many cloth diapering sites like DiaperSwappers.  You can ask among family and friends to see who may have a stash they could share.  You can buy prefolds and a few covers for under $100, if you bargain shop. You can even sew your own, if you are so crafty (I wish!).

If you want convenience and are willing to spend a little more you can purchase re-usable diapers like FuzziBunz.  These are a pocket diaper, meaning you add absorbent material to the pocket in the diaper and put the diaper on just like a disposable.  No covers or pins needed.  FuzziBunz use snaps but other pocket diapers use velcro or a combination of snaps and velcro to get a good fit. 

My favorite diaper is the BumGenius One Size.  It's a pocket diaper that goes from newborn to potty training.  Easy to use, durable and adorable.  We used these more than any other diapers.  They clean up well, dry pretty quickly and fit well under clothes.

So what's my point?  Good question, grasshopper. I went into this post ready to lampoon disposable diapers, but then read research and found out that a lot of what I thought wasn't true, or at least not accurate. I also realized that there is a lot we don't know.  Manufacturers don't have to tell us what's in their diapers.  So who knows what chemicals and toxins we are bringing into our homes and putting on our children or if they really are as safe as they claim.  This is a genuine concern.  So maybe we need to rally and demand accountability and full disclosure of ingredients for all of the products we bring into our homes.  One way to do this might be to support the Safe Chemicals Act , introduced by Senator Lautenberg:

 The “Safe Chemicals Act of 2010” requires safety testing of all industrial chemicals, and puts the burden on industry to prove that chemicals are safe in order stay on the market. Under current policy, the EPA can only call for safety testing after evidence surfaces demonstrating a chemical is dangerous. As a result, EPA has been able to require testing for just 200 of the more than 80,000 chemicals currently registered in the United States and has been able to ban only five dangerous substances. The new legislation will give EPA more power to regulate the use of dangerous chemicals and require manufacturers to submit information proving the safety of every chemical in production and any new chemical seeking to enter the market.

Maybe we should think a little more about why we purchase and use the things we do.  Maybe we have to sacrifice convenience for health.  Maybe we have to sacrifice low prices in favor of low costs in other areas, namely the environment and our children's health.  Maybe we have trusted the government and industry a little too much with our bodies and planet.  Maybe we need to re-think more than just what type of diaper to put on that cute little bottom.

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

• Are we raising a generation of whiners? From You Need A Budget.
• Haluski: How to deal with lying with our young kids?
• Are Men Made to Work not Parent? from Stroller Derby
• Avoid Emotional Spending by Avoiding Your Triggers, from Wise Bread.
• How Many Retirement Accounts Can You Have? Answers from Cash Money Life.
• Could Birth Control Pills Really Be Defined as Abortions? from Blogher
  

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

• Should you drink with your kids? From Time magazine.
• Baby Shower idea: Books!
• Feministe on Work/Life Balance. Interesting points of view, including Tom Colicchio from Top Chef fame.
• What moms can learn from dads.
• Obama supports working mothers.
• Equally Shared Parenting
  

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

There's an interesting discussion going on at Babble on Obama's Fathers' Day speech and absentee fathers. Check it out.

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

• It pays to show up at your kid's school.
• Postpartum Depression bills before Congress.
• Rebel Dad on fathers' involvement in childcare.
• Stay-at-home parent survival guide from About.com
• CNN.com has a special section on Working Moms.
• Modern Homesteading and voluntary simplicity
• Diaper Swappers for cloth diapering families
• Portable sandbox idea from Parent Hacks.
• 40% of babies need more vitamin D.
• Should homeschooling be regulated?
• New magazine for teens focused on abstinence

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

• The Rest of Us by Rebecca Steinitz. A great essay on working mothers.
• Mom's behavior key to Dad's involvement with kids. Encourage the man and reap the benefits.
• Cold medicine for children can be deadly, from Science Daily.
• Childhood cancers vary by region, sex and race. Northeast has higher rates of juvenile cancers.
• Should we stop having children to save the earth?
• Take action on Phthalates in Toys!
• The bases have changed. Kids are getting it on, just not the way you may think.

Notes:

On teenagers having oral sex: Not a shocker to me. I have known that kids are using their mouths for more than back-talk for a long time now. Maybe its because I worked in a field related to sexual issues, and so I read, talked, heard about teens' activites more than other parent-types. Now, my son isn't even 2 yet, but you bet your sweet bippy that he is going to know everything I (or more likely his dad) can tell him about the joys, risks and problems that sex can bring, and I mean all the kinds of sex. Am I alone in not feeling weird about talking to kids about sex? I don't think you need to be vulgar or share your life history, but being honest about sex seems to be a very important part of raising responsible and healthy kids.

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

• Let's talk about Hillary, women voters and feminismA review of A Nation of Wimps in WSJ. It's a book condemning over-involved parents.
• Healthy Toys has tested 16 more toys.

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

• 4 books all parents should read. I have only read the last one and it should be among every child's books.
• Drinking 100% juice doesn't make kids fat.
• A must-read on the new tax bill just passed by the House. Of particular concern to single mothers.

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

• Aggie shares why she may be an abnormal working mother.
• The Business Case for Breastfeeding - support for working moms.
• Wisebread shares a simple way to stay on target with the food budget.
• Was it easier to be a mom in 1908? Don't you bet on it.
• Washington Post article on using life coaches and part time work to find balance for moms.
• Non-Toxic Kids has some good ways to avoid Phthalates - avoid anything with fragrance to start.
• Peggy shares some easy ways to fight global warming.
  

Book Review: Opting In by Amy Richards

When I first started reading Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself I was defensive and a little pissed off at Ms. Richards. I felt judged by her for my choice to stop working outside the home to be a full time mama and my reliance on my partner (a man) for my financial stability. After finishing the book (having skimmed the chapter on our relationship with our mothers) I don't feel judged, but I do feel a little inferior. Ms. Richards has a healthy career as writer and activist, mothers her sons, shares parenting and household maintenance with her partner, and maintains relationships with her girlfriends. I barely keep my house together, do most of the housework, do most of the parenting, and struggle to keep my dear friendships with my pre-motherhood friends. Did I mention that often its 10 p.m. (just in time for a good night kiss) before I realize that I haven't touched by partner since our morning good-bye?

Ok, I realize that these feelings are a projection, and this doesn't really count as a book review. But I have to air this out for my own sanity and through this process I'll shed some light on the book (I hope).

I think I'm like most mothers in these things. We struggle to keep life and home together and the people we love fed and cared for. Sure, I choose to be home full time, but the choice is more one of necessity considering the expense of daycare in our area and my meager non-profit salary. I just don't see how I am supposed to live all my progressive liberal values, like Ms. Richards proposes (or demands) in her (well-researched and insightful) book.

So what are these values?

• Men and women are equal (but different)
• Children deserve stability, love, age-appropriate educational experiences, and respect (among many other things)
  
• Everyone deserves to live authentically with the support of their family/friends
  
• Marriage isn't necessary for happiness
• Respecting the earth through living greenly and consciously
• Love is a verb
• Things don't bring happiness

At this time, I'm stuck. I know that everything listed isn't a value exactly, but you get my drift. I'm your average white middle class educated liberal woman, well in some ways anyway. And after trying to list my values, I realize that I do live them in my own authentic way.

My partner and I are equals. We make decisions together about spending money, changing jobs, moving, parenting, household stuff, etc. We each have areas of dominion and expertise, but we value and respect the ideas and opinions of the other. We choose not to be married for several reasons (which I'll share in a future post). For us, for now, this works out well.

I actively pursue my own interests and relationships and encourage my partner to do the same. I volunteer for the local Birth Center. I am going to be walking in the Breast Cancer 3 Day in October with a couple of college friends. I organize a parents group. I cook and bake a lot because I want to. And occasionally I go out with friends on my own. My partner rides a motorcycle, participates in autocross events, and is way into his photography hobby. In other words, we have lives and interests separate from our family life and each other.

We live frugally, but spend money on the things we value like good food, a house in a friendly neighborhood, and cars (ok, he values those more than I do). But we don't go to the mall or shop online for fun. We don't buy much but food and necessities. We recycle and reuse whatever we can. We conserve. We re-use bags and bring our own.

As for parenting, I think we rock at it. Our son is smart, curious, friendly and happy. I spend quality time with him everyday playing in the yard, walking to the library, playdates, etc. My partner spends quality time with our son when he's home and O's awake. During the week it isn't much, but weekends are time for us together. Saturdays tend to be a day for family outings to the park, etc. We don't outsource his care to anyone really but his grandparents on occasion. Maybe that isn't wholly a positive.

So back to the book.....I like it. I have been challenged by it (obviously). I found the most value in the chapters about women's friendships and co-parenting. It's a book for women of my generation (X, I guess) who benefited from the struggles of our mothers and grandmothers to enter the workforce and have equal footing in society. We truly have the choice to stay home or head off to the factory or office. Although this choice is purely for the middle and upper classes; poorer women often work out of necessity. I do often feel, like Ms. Richards, that motherhood is undervalued and or disrespected in this country, despite all the hoopla around Mothers' Day. But until we demand the respect and rights we deserve (and desire), well, no one is going to give it to us. And I suppose this is what she means when she calls for us to live our values. We have to be ourselves so our children and other women see the diversity of valid choices and lifestyles. The more of us there are out there, the more of us there will be. We have to work together, speak truthfully and support one another. No more Mommy Wars, if there ever really was any.

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

Girls and young women can decrease breast cancer risk with regular exercise.
A great online resource for bringing your baby to work.
Guidelines for safe co-sleeping.
Report on autism vaccine case in Texas.
A young woman's rant/insight into the failings of Family Medical Leave Act.
List of motherhood memoirs at Red Orbit.
Momlogic has a rant on why our friendships sometimes fail. Did I mention it's hilarious?

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

A "matching service" for single mothers- Coabode
Reminder: How much sleep your kid needs from Askdrsears.com
Rep. Carolyn Maloney on the real state of women in America (divorce, work and social security)
Top 10 social networking sites for women from Mashable.com
Do you think having kids ruins your marriage?
Family Leave Insurance Act is up for a vote in Congress.

Stuff of interest to thinking mamas.....

25 Lessons of Motherhood by Nikki Britain
Anti-Mom bias persists in the work place.
Conversation with Joan Blades, founder of Momsrising.org
Busy moms connecting online.
Katha Pollitt muses that Anti-feminism is alive and well.

What people are talking about....

• Mother Jones reviews the new book by Amy Richards: Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself
• US Senate introduces bill to ban BPA in children's products
• Canadian study shows that harsh parenting leads to aggression in children (no really?!)